6 a.m. we rolled into the hospital, a little jittery from a sleepless night and anxiety. We were shown to our room and made comfortable. Not 20 minutes later we hear a woman screaming, and I almost jump out of my skin; “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH… It hurts so bad!!! AAAhhh!!” Hubs and I lock bewildered eyes and I swallowed hard. When she let out another blood-curdling scream, hubs jumped accross the room and “earmuffed” me. THAT certainly didn’t put my mind at ease, but a few minutes later we heard an adorable cry and I was comforted knowing that it would all be worth it.

At 5 p.m. with water broken and pitocin flowing, contractions on a steady minute-apart schedule, a successful and glorious epidural, the nurses checked me hoping I was a seven or eight based on the contractions. I was a four. The doctor came in and found that the baby had actually moved farther up instead of downward and his recommendation was that we have  a c-section or I could have been in labor through the night without knowing what was ahead. Having mentally prepared ourselves for this scenario the night before, it was an easy decision for us. And with that, the doctor said, “You’re going to have your baby in 30 minutes!”

In the operating room, the radio was on, I was sufficiently numb and breathing deeply, and the doctors were keeping me distracted with talk of politics, iphones, and anything under the sun until my husband was able to join me. Not ten minutes later, with my husband holding my hand, did I feel a long-awaited lightness and heard a little jittery cry. I knew it was coming, but at the same time it was so unexpected: I didn’t actually make all of this up, there really WAS a baby in there. And from the table I saw his little blond head and pale skin – clean as a whistle like he had just taken a bath. I don’t think I’ll ever forget that moment. At 8lbs. 8oz. and an AVERAGE sized head thankyouverymuch, little Owen finally made it to us and we couldn’t be happier.

So without further ado, my final What I Know Now:

1. How could one week sound longer than 9 months? Being overdue was stressful on all levels. I was puffy from head to toe, an 8lb. gain in water weight the last month and having trouble sleeping. But in retrospect, 41 weeks was definitely not too long to wait for what was coming.
2. An overdue pregnant woman cannot be left alone with her thoughts. Is he too humongous to come out? Am I going to have a c-section? When I go to my appointment will they induce me on the spot? I needed to be watched like a hawk and my sister flew in to do just that. She had to change her return flight 2 times because we went so past due.
3. The closer we got to the delivery day, the less I cared about a “birthing plan.” I didn’t care who was in the room; you could line up all my ex-boyfriends to witness the event for all I cared. I just wanted to have that baby.
4. I think everyone just remembers the last thing they did before they went into labor and tell you that’s what you need to do to go into labor. Get on the elliptical, eat a Haagen-Dazs or spicy food…
5. My husband and I are on different crying schedules.  At our wedding, he cried like a baby and was stoic in the delivery room.  However on the wedding day not a single tear graced my face, but in the delivery room the anesthesiologist had a second job of wiping my eyes. Is it too much to ask to have a sentimental moment with my husband?
6. When I saw Owen for the first time, I thought “Why didn’t we do this seven years ago?” …Pregnancy hormones and cute wrinkly babies play crazy tricks on you…
7. My subsequent thoughts: He’s big! How did he fit in there? Look at the size of his mouth! Why aren’t they showing him to me? Hurry up and clean that baby off so I can see him. Who does he look like? I was sure he’d have my head or Jason’s head on his body, but who is this kid? Aw… I can’t believe he’s here, he is BEAUTIFUL.
8. Lots and lots of visitors at the hospital, which was great. I had no idea how tired I’d be though. And so much coordinating working around his feeding schedule. On the one hand, about 2 dozen people had seen me naked by this point, what’s one more, but on the other hand, I loved having a little private moment with my boy.
9. With the c-section, I was at the hospital for four nights. I can’t imagine being there for a shorter period of time because he’s such a science experiment… what is making him fussy, how often does he need to eat, what does that sound mean? The nurses were amazing and my first night home I had a hysterical moment where I seriously matter-of-factly was ready to pay those nurses cash to stay the nights with me to figure this kid out.
10. But he’s a good baby and I think we are doing well. He’s a very sweet boy, never fussy unless he’s peed on his blanket while I was changing his diaper and didn’t notice.
11. Speaking of, he has already peed on me. Hubs and I were working together on a serious diaper overhaul, four hands to one newborn sized diaper. I was readied with a second diaper to block any oncoming waterworks which was necessary two seconds later. When I lifted my defensive diaper, I was stunned by a wiley water hose to the face {and newly washed hair}. Jason jumped a foot and nearly choked laughing when he projectile pooped right after. He’s certainly keeping us on our toes!
12. I think I did okay with pregnancy brain, but now I suffer from what my sister calls, CRS {Can’t Remember Sh…} I set out to do ONE thing each day {like this post, which I wanted to write in the hospital}, and some days even that one thing doesn’t get done. My mind is cluttered with feeding times, number of wet diapers, who’s visiting when, and when the last time I ate was that I can’t even remember to return a phone call.
13. My best new-mom trick… I can fall asleep in 30 seconds anytime, anywhere.
14. Another last shout out to my hubby for being a rock. As you can imagine, emotions run like wine through our house these days and my husband has gotten quite the crash course on how to console a worried/upset new mom. Despite my moments of hysteria, I have never been happier.

And this is what new moms do: stay home and stare at their little cubs doing absolutely nothing.

But a light peers at the end of the tunnel. Just as I suspected, my cervix wanted me to make it to my 44 week post and a little scientific intervention is needed. I’ll be induced tomorrow and then I can finally show my face around this blog again… stay tuned…

1. Tomorrow’s my due date. I have a feeling we’re going to see it come and go.
2. At my 39 week ultrasound my doctor saw the baby’s head and said, “Holy Moly!” I knew he was thinking “holy moly that’s an adorable baby!” because I can’t bring myself to think that meant anything else.
3. This due date thing is kind of like saying that Christmas may happen on December 25th, but it could be a few weeks before or a few weeks after, so just be ready. Oh, and you may be getting 7.4 gifts, or you may be getting 8.14 gifts… but if you get over 9 gifts, they won’t fit through the chimney, so we may need to get them in another way…
4. After being frustrated for a few weeks at no sign of an early delivery, I decided to just ENJOY. Once I realized it was COMPLETELY out of my control, I embraced each day, and even got a whole night of uninterrupted sleep! {ne’er one trip to the bathroom!}
5. It’s bizarre being pregnant. Somehow the goings-on of your uterus and cervix are fair game for anyone to talk about. Your coworkers, your distant relatives, strangers…
6. I have Shrek feet.
7. The “last two weeks of pregnancy” warning I kept hearing has come to fruition. You weren’t kidding. My shoes don’t fit, my shirts don’t fit, my rings don’t fit, my feet are so puffy I can’t bend my toes, and I’m losing energy by the second. I can hardly breathe for most of the day… clamoring to get air in. It sounds like I’m operating heavy machinery, but I’m really just trying to catch my breath even sitting at the computer.
8. Even when strangers aren’t talking directly to me about my pregnancy {rare}, they are still talking. I was in line at Old Navy and after a moment of silence, the lady in front of me leaned over to her friend and said, “Did you hear ‘so and so’ is pregnant?” Not ten seconds later did the lady behind me say to her husband, “Becky had her baby last week, a boy!” Subliminal?
9. I’ve heard of ShrinkxHips, but what about ShrinkxFeet, ShrinksBoobs and ShrinksFace?
10. I think it’s funny that doing the dishes after you use them and keeping up on laundry constitutes as “nesting.” I’d love to hire someone to do the ‘nesting’ for me.
11. I went to the library to do some last-minute research on labor techniques. The books were on the BOTTOM SHELF. Are you kidding me? I probably looked like I was practicing the all-fours form of delivery as I tried to get to the books.
12. I’m kinda sorta dodging a few phone calls that I know are people asking “how I’m holding up”… All 190lbs of me are trying to just keep moving and enjoying my last days with my hubby without feeling anxious or having expectations. But if *you’ve* called and can’t get ahold of me, I was probably in the shower.
13. I can’t WAIT to get skinny. With a 5lb growth spurt in one week that my nurse likes to blame on the water-weight and I like to blame on my McFlurry “medicine,” I have gained 41 lbs. I’ve seen numbers on the scale I never thought I’d know. I’m really excited to get back down to normal digits {and will never take them for granted again!}.
14. Growing up, I always wanted to have my kids close together {my sister and I are 14 months apart}. I tell you this so you aren’t surprised when I get pregnant again soon after, or so you can point and laugh when I finally realize how lofty this idea sounds.
15. My husband has been so supportive of me through the ups, the downs and the really downs. We went to the beach last weekend and he even dug a {sizeable} hole in the sand so I could lay on my stomach for the first time in months. And though it was a process getting lowered down into the hole, it felt great and I loved him for it. If we could see what our future would be like with our spouses on our wedding day, we’d be even more excited I’m sure of it. I love my hubby more today than I ever have.

My pregnancy, month by month:

36 Weeks
32 Weeks
28 Weeks
24 Weeks
20 Weeks
16 Weeks
14 Weeks

This crossed my mind the other day as I struggled to get a good night’s rest at 8 1/2 months pregnant. Or even a nap. I bet whales don’t have to prop their legs up on stacks of pillows, but tossing and turning might be as turbulent nonetheless. I feel like a whale.

I even bought some ugly comfy shoes when I realized I had become “the girl who wears crocs in public” {gasp}. When I wake up in the morning, my feet KILL. I can’t even walk to the kitchen without putting shoes on because the weight, gravity, and water-retention have become too much to bear on my little pigs. I have all elbows and knees swirling around in my belly.

And to top it off, no love from Craigslist!

Two unbelievable deals on that white Eames knockoff chair I want so badly, and neither contact emailed me back. Guess I’ll get back to my laundry, washing dishes, and vacuuming for the billionth time and daydream about what could have been.

1. What’s that? You’ve seen this outfit before? Tough nookies – it’s what fits today.
2. 33 weeks: Got my first kick in the ribs
3. We took our birthing class, only to find we were the only ones in the class. Just me, my hubby, and the lady who kept saying “cervix” {shudder}.
4. When asked if my husband was gonna “cut the cord,” he replied that he wasn’t sure. The teacher told us that the doctor was going to clamp it “here and here so blood doesn’t squirt everywhere.” … I think my husband found his answer.
5. It’s funny how you can feel guilty for the littlest thing when you’re pregnant. I’ve had pretty severe upper back pain and nerve pain on the front of my stomach. Sometimes I want to scream, it hurts so bad {sometimes I do}. But what a loser I am for complaining when I have a healthy baby and it’s not his fault. I’m sure he doesn’t love being upside down all day with a keyboard in the middle of his back.
6. Despite my best efforts not to, I caught a glimpse of myself in the morror after getting out of the shower. I kid you not, Venus of Willendorf flashed in my mind {I would have been a looker in 22,000 B.C.}.
7. I wake up every morning in a panic when I mistake the wrinkles my sheets leave on my skin for stretchmarks.
8. Oh, and yes, I did finally find some stretchmarks. I think my husband thought someone had died when I found out. I’m not ready to talk about it yet.
9. My husband was out of town and with my shoe-putter-onner gone, I was confined to slip-on flats for a week.
10. Do I stare at women who are eight months pregnant? I seem to get quite the looks these days as well as stories from strangers DAILY.
11. I don’t know why my hubby laughed so hard when I questioned if my sweatpants had gone through the dryer on accident.
12. A month to go and my doctor said my baby is measuring 6lbs 13oz. My brother suggested I get on a trampoline to help things along a little.
13. Socks have become tourniquets on my legs. My ankles are getting poo-fy.
14. Questions for my baby: You seem to be in my sister’s favorite cheerleading position every day: the double nine. Does this mean you’ll be a dancer or a hurdler? And while you are adorable and humorous, double nines at 5 in the morning make mommy grumpy. And if I may have a last request in this final month… can’t a girl have a little diet coke without her fetus gettin’ all crazy? Days that start at 5 can get a bit taxing… pretend Diet Coke is like a warm glass of milk, and get niiiiiice and comfy.
15. Will I make it to my 40 week post?

{my other posts}

32 Weeks
28 Weeks
24 Weeks
20 Weeks
16 Weeks
14 Weeks

1. 2 months to go!
2. Sleep is not happening. It’s hitting number one on my list because I was thrown awake by a charlie horse in both my calf and shin at the same time this morning.
3. I can only lay on my left side. If I spend more than three seconds on my right side or my back {even when propped up}, I get nauseous. I can’t even lean back in my chair. So in the middle of the night, when I’m ready for a new position, I get to move my ankles and wrists {while adjusting my three pillows}. Yes, that feels *much* better.
4. When I read {or do crosswords} before I go to bed, I sit up. I rest my arms on my head. This gets my boobs OFF my stomach for 10 glorious minutes.
5. At my last appointment, my doctor said I was very calm. As my belly gets bigger, I’m feeling a little less calm. The baby gets bigger, but his doorway is *not* getting bigger.
6. I’m embracing these last two months. I haven’t been comfortable or slept well in weeks, but this is my last chance to be together with him like this. And somehow his roundhouses to my bladder, even in the middle of the night, are adorable.
7. I’m eating smaller meals, more often. When I’m full, I’m even more uncomfortable.
8. A couple of weeks ago, I was up in the night three times to the baby kicking, while my husband snored away. Is this foreshadowing?
9. My whole life I could never get over feeling guilty as I pictured my husband heading off to work while I stayed at home to be with the baby. After that sleepless night, I think that guilt washed away. He’ll see the bags under my eyes and know that my work will be equally as challenging.
10. My hubby will help me put on my shoes, but he’s not interested in clipping my toenails.
11. If you think I’m being especially candid in these posts, you are mistaken. There is SO much going on in the pregnant body, I don’t even tell my husband some of it.
12. My poor friends who have never been pregnant shudder at each new symptom. Sorry you asked?
13. I feel very lucky. I’ve had no major problems in my pregnancy, and the baby is healthy.
14. When I get pedicures now, I get extra long massages. Strangers are sure good to pregnant people.
15. I got a massage last week, and the masseuse said she keeps “seeing butterflies with {me}.” I told her the baby had been kicking the whole time, and she thinks that was the fluttering she was seeing. I had so much more I wanted to ask her about that, but didn’t get a chance.
16. Will the baby actually be born on April Fools Day? That sounds like such a fun birthday!
17. Oh, and yes, that’s my hair after my new CHI. I can’t believe you all had a CHI and didn’t tell me. I feel like the kid with bad breath that nobody wants to play with.

And here’s how my husband sees it…

1. Brooke and I have taken our relationship to a new level with this new addition, however there are still things best left to mystery.
2. Brooke has become the loudest sleeper in the world. Period.
3. My bed….my sanctuary from the world…..my place of solace has become a breeding ground for pillows.
4. After our hospital tour, when the nurse said the words “we will wheel you to your car and once we hear the click of the car seat, you are on your own” I nearly ran home to my mommy.
5. I have developed a spidey sense since hearing the big news. In the last several months I have saved at least 5 kids from certain death!
6. I never want to hear the term “it is different when its your own” again. Poop is poop and snot is snot no matter who it comes from.
7. I can never be grumpy when he is rolling around in mom’s belly.
8. In the beginning of her pregnancy, I have never wished harder for someone to vomit. I guess I was waiting for that moment to make it real. She still hasn’t vomited, but… I don’t think she’s making this up anymore.
9. My realization from writing this: this is really happening…..oh crap!

My past ramblings:

28 Weeks
24 Weeks
20 Weeks
16 Weeks
14 Weeks