Funny Online Garage Sale
I thought you would enjoy this as much as I did…
My brother Lane (yes, the sweater horse brother), put a few items he is selling on his facebook account. I thought you would like his descriptions. Do you feel this way about your furniture?
“Meet Hank. Hank is a dependable and sturdy young fellow who is a whiz at alphabetizing. He’s a pale putty/grey with silver accents for that distinguished look and loves long walks on the beach.
$10 takes Hank home with you.”
“Hank’s details.”
“This is Martin. He was quite a chatterer in his day but has slowed down with retirement. Most recently Martin had a come-back cameo in this award winning film http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PPbl-2Y4VE (though sound has been disabled.) Now Martin likes to be coaxed into typing Love letters and poetry though he has a tendency to drop he’s “e’s” but I think that’s cute.
$5″
“All up in Martin’s grill.”
“Say Hello to Claire. Claire is a tailored working girl with a lot of versatility and pinache. Note here, tucked into a corner she makes for a beguiling chaise, perfect for curling up with an old movie and cheese doodles.”
“Complete and total reclination…Ahhhh.”
“But Claire also has an austere look as noted here, leaning against a wall. This look says, ‘I will help you study or get those reports in order. no slacking until you’re done.’”
“Claire also stands her own as the center of the party, possibly residing between the fireplace and the sofa. She’s a good mingler and can work a party from both sides. And if the party goes late, Claire is the size of a twin bed and has a secret trundle to make the night a double. Let down your hair, girl.
$25″
“Carl is an optimistic fellow who gets down to business but isn’t afraid to show some flair. His naugehide is in pristine condition and how sharp are darted epaulettes? Yes, Carl is quite a catch.
$20″
“Get a load of those gams! Harriet may not be much of a looker up top but with 5 graceful legs and a sexy steel foot rest, she knows how to keep your spirits up. And, she spins. Be an architect or just look like one sitting atop this beauty.
$10.”
“Grace has been with me since my college days. It’s hard to let such a beautiful friend go but alas, I only have one seat. She is the perfect kitchen chair and step stool disguised in a tremello of graphic lines. Doesn’t she just look like her harps strings are singing?”
“Lovin’ you is easy ’cause You’re beautiful.
La la la la la…
Her polish is a bit chipped but that can either be treated or enjoyed.
$10″
“True, Gwen has seen better days. But don’t discard her functionality based on a few nicks and bruises. She’s got class a smart secret to boot. Her drawer is really a keyboard rest. She’ll work hard for you as you type up those memos or check your facebook, Or due to her slim stature, she can just as easily stand guardian over your key dish and fresh flowers in the entry way. A well placed doily and she instantly cleans up to her former beauty pageant days.”
“A few lines are a sign of character and life well enjoyed.”
“Surprise! bet you didn’t expect that.”