20 Weeks: What I Know Now

20weeks

  1. All my pants shrunk
  2. The popular ‘Kids Meal’ will heretofor be called the “Kids/Prego Meal”. I crave cheese, and kids know how to do cheese right: grilled cheese, mac ‘n cheese, quesadillas…
  3. 3 of my good friends are pregnant which is more than awesome. I lent my pre-pregnancy pants to one of my friends so she can wear them DURING her pregnancy, which is less than awesome.
  4. After watching several episodes of “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant,” I’m scared to go to the bathroom.
  5. Half-way there and I’ve only gained 8 lbs. {I know, don’t burst my bubble, I’m enjoying it while it lasts}.
  6. I have a headache at the same time everyday. Hormones, my doctor says. Only Tylenol or Diet Coke can cure it.
  7. My little boy doesn’t like it when I sit down. He leaps into all sorts of acrobatics while I’m at my desk at work, watching television, or doing my precious crossword puzzles. I guess he feels that I should be working on his room instead.
  8. That same little boy kicked for what felt like 8 hours straight one day. Toward the end of the day I was feeling annoyed by this constant motion, then cried all night for being a horrible mother who is annoyed when her perfectly healthy baby wants to tell me he’s here and is ready for me to sign him up for team sports.
  9. If my pre-pregnancy panties were XL, where do I go from here?
  10. I still haven’t puked once. {Did I just jinx myself?}
  11. I’ve been having wild dreams. My husband tells me how I talk of all things crazy: giftwrapping and giggling, in the middle of the night.
  12. I had a dream that the baby kept sticking his little precious arm out of the top of my shirt so I would hold it because he was scared. He had a name in this dream too! *secret*
  13. When I bend over, I emit an involuntary grunt {you were scared of where I was going with that, weren’t you}.
  14. I understand crawling babies in jeans, but I just don’t get newborns in jeans… what am I missing? Okay, yes, it’s adorable, but can they really be comfortable with that muffin top? {I know I’m not}
  15. I’m in the “honeymoon phase” where, for the most part, I feel normal. I had been feeling crampy and achy for about a week, and it didn’t go away until I tried a pair of maternity pants on in the dressing room. I guess if mom weren’t cramming her roly poly-ness into her normal jeans, this could have been avoided.
  16. This week, the ultrasound technician said each one of these phrases: “hyper baby”, “exhibitionist”, “playing with his ***”, “wants to keep showing me his ***”, “is that a gun show?” and then finally, the words I longed to hear: “head size on the smaller end of the spectrum”.