36 Weeks: What I Know Now

  1. What’s that? You’ve seen this outfit before? Tough nookies – it’s what fits today.
  2. 33 weeks: Got my first kick in the ribs
  3. We took our birthing class, only to find we were the only ones in the class. Just me, my hubby, and the lady who kept saying “cervix” {shudder}.
  4. When asked if my husband was gonna “cut the cord,” he replied that he wasn’t sure. The teacher told us that the doctor was going to clamp it “here and here so blood doesn’t squirt everywhere.” … I think my husband found his answer.
  5. It’s funny how you can feel guilty for the littlest thing when you’re pregnant. I’ve had pretty severe upper back pain and nerve pain on the front of my stomach. Sometimes I want to scream, it hurts so bad {sometimes I do}. But what a loser I am for complaining when I have a healthy baby and it’s not his fault. I’m sure he doesn’t love being upside down all day with a keyboard in the middle of his back.
  6. Despite my best efforts not to, I caught a glimpse of myself in the morror after getting out of the shower. I kid you not, Venus of Willendorf flashed in my mind {I would have been a looker in 22,000 B.C.}.
  7. I wake up every morning in a panic when I mistake the wrinkles my sheets leave on my skin for stretchmarks.
  8. Oh, and yes, I did finally find some stretchmarks. I think my husband thought someone had died when I found out. I’m not ready to talk about it yet.
  9. My husband was out of town and with my shoe-putter-onner gone, I was confined to slip-on flats for a week.
  10. Do I stare at women who are eight months pregnant? I seem to get quite the looks these days as well as stories from strangers DAILY.
  11. I don’t know why my hubby laughed so hard when I questioned if my sweatpants had gone through the dryer on accident.
  12. A month to go and my doctor said my baby is measuring 6lbs 13oz. My brother suggested I get on a trampoline to help things along a little.
  13. Socks have become tourniquets on my legs. My ankles are getting poo-fy.
  14. Questions for my baby: You seem to be in my sister’s favorite cheerleading position every day: the double nine. Does this mean you’ll be a dancer or a hurdler? And while you are adorable and humorous, double nines at 5 in the morning make mommy grumpy. And if I may have a last request in this final month… can’t a girl have a little diet coke without her fetus gettin’ all crazy? Days that start at 5 can get a bit taxing… pretend Diet Coke is like a warm glass of milk, and get niiiiiice and comfy.
  15. Will I make it to my 40 week post?

{my other posts}

32 Weeks
28 Weeks
24 Weeks
20 Weeks
16 Weeks
14 Weeks


pregnancy